Demi Moore is "embarrassed" by her public breakdown.
The 49-year-old actress - who split from husband Ashton
Kutcher in November amid speculation he had cheated on her - was hospitalised
last week after she suffered a seizure and is said to be struggling with the
fact her troubles, rumours to include anorexia and substance abuse, have been
the focus of so much scrutiny.
A source said: "Ego-wise, this is the worst thing that
could happen to Demi, because she's such a private person. She's embarrassed."
Demi is a follower of Kabbalah - a mystical offshoot of
Judaism - and the faith believes her troubles are a "gift" which she can learn
and grow from.
An insider told People.com: "[Her problems] can be an
opportunity, a blessing, and not a curse.
"The right intervention happened in her life. From a
spiritual sense, it is a gift. She has a real opportunity to grow from it. She
has to take responsibility for her life."
It has been claimed that Demi is refusing to enter rehab,
despite being urged by daughters Rumer, 23, Scout, 20, and Tallulah to seek
help.
A source said: "Demi needs help but she's not ready to
get it. She doesn't want to check into rehab even though her daughters want her
to, especially Rumer, who was at home and witnessed her convulsing. Demi thinks
her problems are emotional and that she doesn't need rehab."
Instead, Demi - who is reported to have "smoked
something" at the party before she had the seizure and has become dependent on
Red Bull and prescription drugs - has been undergoing "spiritual counselling"
since being released from Sherman Oaks Hospital last week.
Initial reports claimed Moore had inhaled dangerous
amounts of nitrous oxide, better known as laughing as. The street name for the
cheap high in “whip-its”. - Bang Showbiz and IOL
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